CB’s House of Porn and Pancakes

Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he’s carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he’s carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you’re drunk.
–Jack Handy Deep Thoughts

So I went to happy hour last night at the fine establishment called Brennan’s. No relation, but they are still good people. I got there at 4:30 because that’s when Liz was getting off work and wanted to grab some drinks. No problem I thought. Well by the time George got off work, me and Liz had killed the one bottle. So George didn’t feel left out, we ordered another bottle of wine…. We also had cheese and crackers, ie the drinkers dinner….. Finishing that bottle off, we figured why stop now, Julie is on her way down to meet us…….. Julie arrives mid-bottle, so we again, order another bottle…… By this time, George trying to kick the cigarette habit was jonsing for a cig, me helping him out, bought him a cigar, because that’s completely different…… (on a sidenote that kicked off a question from a guy near by as to the origins of Jonsing…. we came up with it came from Cheetch and Chong movies……) Fourth bottle down, it’s cold, we are sitting outside, we can feel the cold, cigars are done and none of us can focus, what’s left to do? Get food of course! We end up at Moxy’s, we had taken down 4 bottles of wine, what’s one more, so the 5th “horse of the acopolypse” arrives…….. Food hit the spot, it was my first time at Moxy’s and I would highly recommend it. I got home about 10:30, dazed, confused and generally needing lots and lots of water. I went to bed, woke up around 3am, still drunk, drank a bunch of more water, couldn’t fall back to sleep for an hour, woke up at 7am, felt fine, I RULE! All in all good times, haven’t had a Tuesday night like that in a long time………

Today’s Politically Incorrect Blog: http://durrrrr.blogspot.com/

I saw this blurb on newsmax.com’s Left Coast Report, a Political Look at Hollywood, now before you give me the fire and brimestone about how it’s evil to be conservative, I’m spreading the Fox News view, how we are destroying the Nation and Michael Moore/Howard Dean (Yeeeeeeeahhhhhhhhhhhhh!) are the enlightened ones, save your breathe, freedom of opinons is what this country great. (So does gambling, cable and reruns of the Dukes of Hazard)

I had to chuckle when I read this, it’s funny how Religion has become a fad in some aspects, yet faith has become a dirty word……

Madonna Can’t Kick the Habit
Madonna recently attended a party in London to celebrate the Jewish festival of Purim.

Apparently, Madge is having a bit of trouble keeping her faiths straight these days because she showed up dressed in a nun’s habit.

Sister Mary Esther appears to be reverting to her late-eighties period. That was the phase in which she wound a cloth around her head like certain nuns do as part of their habit. She also slipped on a crucifix while singing the tune “Like a Prayer.”

Her husband, Guy Ritchie, showed an even greater lack of discretion. At a time when the leader of the Catholic Church is ailing, Ritchie came dressed as the pope.

The Left Coast Report notes that Madonna advocates tolerance, but apparently not for Christians.

Eventhough my weekend started on Thursday, Friday I decided to stay in. Saturday was Art’s bday celebration. Dinner reservations were 8:45 at Red Moon. A few of us decided to go to Syberg’s before then to watch the Illini play. Incredible game that went into overtime, it was nearing the time to head to Red Moon but we all figured Art would understand if we were late…… (on a sidenote, the complete evening was a surprise for him…..) So after the Illini sqweaked out a win, we bolted for Red Moon. Thankfully Art was still at his place watching the game also, so we got there before him. Awesome food at Red Moon. After Red Moon we headed to ten-14. ten-14 was a decent time, some things I didn’t like:

- There was a line outside, the door guys were letting in people by groups of 2 or 3. I thought Son of a…… this is going to be packed. We get inside and lo and behold, it’s not, they were just forming a line for the sake of having a line…… Now this tactic would work if you have other bars around and a lot of foot traffic, ten-14 is not in area were there is a lot of foot traffic and/or other bars near them….. So in otherwords, they were being obnoxiously pretenious for no reason…

- While waiting in line, I hear a guy a couple people back say “Listen man, stop looking at my girlfriend, you’ve looked at her like 5 times, knock it off.” Naturally we all turn around and say WTF? And then we all pretty much uttered the same thoughts:

- Quit being so insecure…….
- Don’t start fights over your girl, she’s not worth it……
- She’s a butter face/butter body, I’m sure she has a nice personality….

Not sure if he heard us, but he was a meat head probably tweaking on something, no doubt low self esteem….. (and I think he was the guy later on that was tossed out by two cops, that girl is lucky to have a guy like that)

In ten-14, I finally completed my lenten obligations, so to celebrate I drank Red Bulls and Vodka after midnight. (my system loves having caffiene back!) After ten-14 closed we headed to the Cheshire East, otherwise known as Lucas Park. Last time I saw this many yuppies in one area I was in the Orvis store…… Lucas Park always entertains me, mostly because I am not a fan of the place, it’s not my scene. It’s all the pretty people (which doesn’t bother me), but it’s also the fake pretenious people. They put on the show of having the cheddar, but in reality don’t. On a sidenote, no heroin incident there this time……. I got home around 3am and had to be up bright and early for Mass and Brunch. The brunch and bloody mary helped the headache go away….. All in all a good weekend

So I stopped off at Walgreens to pick up some stuff. Waiting in line, I noticed the guy ahead of me is figiting around, always moving, tapping his feet, etc. He walked away briefly to look at the magazine rack and that’s when I noticed what was in his shopping cart, about 3 big bundles of toilet paper and a fan on a stand……… I was crying from the laughter on the inside…..

So again my weekend starts on Thursday……. And again at the Synergy Loft. This party, like most is for a Navan tasting and this one included an informal fashion show. Good times had by all, I drank enough Navan that if you were to draw blood from me, I think it would be 80% Vanilla Extract…… Good crowd, good atmosphere and of course good libations. Got to catch up with a bunch of people I haven’t seen in a long time as well as meet new people. I watched Texas Tech destroy my one bracket, so I decided to head out. I made it home by 11:30pm and now find myself watching You Got Served on HBO, why you may ask? No idea, blame the Navan I say (plus there really isn’t much on - I have a billion movie channels, nothing good on…..). I have one thought, does anyone else realize that is movie is just a remake of Breaking 2, Electric Boogaloo? (which by the way is a mastery movie represnting urban life in the 80’s, much like New Jack City, minus the crack……..) Think about it while drinking some Navan………

What did the five fingers say to the face?

SLAP!

If you need to pass some time at work, check out The People’s Chappelle, the top 5 Episodes…..

http://www.comedycentral.com/tv_shows/chappellesshow/peoples/results.jhtml

So I hosted poker this week, the game for the evening, Omaha. I figured it would be a good change seeing we’ve played Hold’em for almost 2 yrs and on top of that, you can play Hold’em everywhere. And everyone seems to be playing Hold’em. The change in game really didn’t meet much resistance, just really from one person, everyone else was eager to play. Incase you aren’t familiar with Omaha, it’s just like Texas Hold’em, except you are dealt 4 cards in the hole and you are forced to use 2 cards in the hole and three on the board. The game went well a lot of good hands were played. Meanwhile the Gambling Gods laughed at me, twice, count ‘em, 2 times I lost with full houses. Both times to full houses were one card better…… I thought I heard God in the distance say “HA HA!” I got down to my “nub” twice, doubled up the first time, lost out to a flush the second time. But all in all a good night, one can never go wrong with poker and Syberg’s Chicken Wings…….

So I’ve been on this kick about working out and trying to get back into some sort of shape besides round. Granted I do feel better immediately after I work out, but post work out, I’m sore and hobble around like an old man…… How the hell can this be good for you? I was happiest fat, drinking my 18 Guinnesses and eating cheese fries… but I digress. So I worked out at the MAC tonight, on the drive home I saw something I had never seen, only read about on the internet, BUMS FIGHTING in the middle of the street! One was weilding an umbrella while the other was just throwing punches in the air. I about wrecked I was laughing so hard. I stopped in the middle of the interction to watch for my own personal amusement, it’s the little things in life that bring me joy, plus there wasn’t any traffic coming. I guess they saw me because they stopped and walked away. If I see more things like this on the way home, it would make working out so much better.

So my weekend started on Thursday (why do my stories start out like that more and more?) With the kick off party in the Synergy Loft. That’s right sports fans, Synergy has a loft for a month, the last loft almost killed me, this one has the potential to pick up where the last one left off……. (Granted I’m not living in this one and I’ve had roughly 5 yrs to recover). Good times, good crowd, lots of good games on. If you aren’t familiar with the Synergy Loft, I’ll briefly describe, it’s a two level loft in the Merchandise Mart, there are 3 projectors going with assorted games on. Food provided by Syberg’s and open Navan Bar makes for a good night! Friday I found myself back at the Synergy Loft for an open bar party put on by B.I.G. & Velocity Promote. Good times had by all. After the party we all headed over to ten-14 to catch up on late 90’s dance music…… I realized that night that girls with lots of tattoo’s just aren’t that attractive……. Saturday I went to Syberg’s to watch some of the games, grab dinner and then I had a hot date with the servers at Savvis. That’s right, I had to work. I got done around midnight, so I just went home. Sunday was poker and basketball. I think I won one hand the whole day, it was pretty brutual…..