CB’s House of Porn and Pancakes

http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/09/30/spark.beermat/index.html

So today was the last game of the regular season for Busch Stadium. As I watched it on the TV, I couldn’t help but be over run with memories from the past. The names that I hadn’t heard in so long were appearing on the screen, Gibson, Brock, Coleman, McGee, Clark, Smith, Forsch, Tutor, Landrum, Horton, McGwire, Worrell, Carlton, the parade of names and players kept coming….. I sat and began to reflect on the 3 decades of Busch I’ve experienced and thought I would share some of the more memorable ones……. (Baseball, Football, Concerts and Misc)

I remember:

- It being an icon, immediately recognizable with the arches running around the perimeter and flying over it, knowing you were close to home

- Watching the “Cardiac” Cardinals play there in the dead of winter, freezing, but loving every minute of it, rooting on Neil Lomax and Ottis Anderson…… Unfortunatley they lost, a lot and eventually moved to a warmer climate……… (Footnote, they still suck)

- Watching the first season of the Rams play there, it was great to see football return to Busch, but they weren’t spectacular

- In High School that was the big game (I think it was the Catholic Conference Tourney), CBC vs SLUH, Desmet vs Vianney, lots of football, fights and of course catholic school girls………

- The first concert I ever went to was The Who’s The Kids Are Alright Reunion Tour at Busch, phenomial show! I remember a funny smell in the air, but didn’t know what it was……..

- U2’s Achtung Baby concert, one of the best I’ve ever seen…….

- My first experience of going to Busch and to a Cardinals game, was with my dad, walking up to the main entrance and seeing this bigger than life, imposing statue keeping guard of the gates…. Wide eyed I asked my dad “Who is that?” He proceeded to tell me of the lore of Stan “The Man” Musial, my dad’s personal hero……. The stadium was giant to me, 416 ft in dead center, back then, it wasn’t a home run derby

- In my dad’s old seats, it was row 20, right behind homeplate, I was there with my oldest brother, his wife and a friend of his. Oquendo hit a foul ball that came racing over the screen, it was coming right for me, I tried to get up, instead I realize I’m trapped in my seat! My older brother had jumped up and scrambled over me, in the process, he fell over my legs, trapping me, I see the ball coming right for me, it tags him right in the ribs, some jackass picked up the ball and wouldn’t give it to my brother when he returned from the First Aide station……

- Opening Day usually fell on or around my birthday, so I went to that a lot for my bday. I remember every opening day, 2 things were guaranteed, a back flip by the Wizard and the Clydesdales parading on the field, for a long time with the man himself, Gussie Busch….. As time wore on, both faded away…..

- Being in awe at the way Ozzie would make plays

- One of the best memories I have from Busch was the 1985 World Series against the Royals. Sitting in my Dad’s seats, it was me, my sister, my mom and dad. The game was getting under way, my sister says “Look who is sitting a section over from us!” I look over, it’s none other than Tommy Lasorda, then manager of the Dodgers, who we beat out in the NLCS. Me and my sister walk over and ask him “Mr Lasorda, can we have your autograph.” I have to say he was beyond nice to us, he graciously signed our World Series Programs and invited us to sit down and talked to us for a long time. I will always remember that experience. As a footnote, he signed my program:

To Chris, a future Dodgers fan
Tommy Lasorda

- During playoffs and World Series games, Busch Stadium would be a complete sea of red and thunder with cheers, a thunder that finally returned last October….

- Being at the ‘85 NLCS when Ozzie hit the home run, Go Crazy!

- Being at the ‘85, ‘87 and 2004 World Series

- Cursing the motorized tarp, the one that ran over Vince Coleman and knocked him out for the rest of the post season

- Going to the game after Daryl Kile died and they did a memorial to him on the jumbo-tron, I remember there wasn’t a dry eye in the place as the picture of him and his kids sitting on the pitcher’s mound at Busch…….

- Making the trip to the Jack Buck and Daryl Kile make shift memorials outside the stadium, it’s amazing how two people touched and influenced so many…….

- That season after Kile died, the team stepped up and had a magical run, only to fall just short. I still remember the Yahoo! Sports writer quote “The Cardinals lost, there is no God…….”

- Opening Day also meant going with my friends, the pre-game tailgating, post game bars, the drinking total hours usually ranged well into double digits…….

- Jack Buck’s poem giving us a sense of stability in a time of chaos as baseball returned after 9/11 attacks

- Ankiel’s erratic pitching in the playoffs when he threw all those wild pitches

- During a rain delay, going to the bathroom, waiting in line, hearing the KMOX broadcast, Shannon was reading the scores and said “Let’s look at the scores, Detroit beats the Tigers 3-2…..” Everyone had a chuckle, got to love the Moon Man……..

- Getting a last minute ticket that I would end up seeing McGwire’s 62nd home run, just before he was to bat, I got an emergency page from work, they had to wait 30 minutes for me to call back…..

- The way the Arches would cast the shadows as the day got later and how the arches were aluminated for seasons, the blues, rams and cardinal colors, depending on what was going on

- Game 6 of the NLCS last year, I still get chills when I see Edmonds’ homerun and hearing the call “SEE YOU LATER! We are going to Game 7!”

- Game 7 of the NLCS, Edmonds’ “Catch” that saved the game

- Being pissed not that the Red Sox swept us in the World Series, but the fact I had to watch Jimmy Fallon dance around on the field……..

- Being in the bleachers, we were taunting Bonds so much, he turned around flipped us the bird, classy guy…….

- Most recently, missing a Taguchi foul ball by only inches, getting pushed out of the way by George and him ending face first into a bunch of old ladies sitting behind us, only to have Kamal get the ball when it rolled under his chair next to his foot……….

So many memories, those are a few that stand out, I’m sure I’ll add more down the road……. Feel free to share yours……..

I will miss Busch, the heat it holds in, the smell of hot dogs and brats cooking, the memories and players that took the field so long ago, but am excited about the new stadium and the new memories that await. We just need to bring home a World Champion Banner to close her out in style……….

Go Cards!

So Friday brings last minute tickets to the Cards game. I round up the usual suspects, G4, Cosmo Boy and AJ. I was late getting to the Berg, we head to the game, we missed the parade of Cardinals, the 1985 Cardinals, but we saw most of it on TV while at the Berg. We head to the stadium and make a b-line for the Kosher Hot Dog stand, why Kosher dogs do you ask? Well it’s guaranteed to be 100% beef…….. While waiting in line, I was explaining to Cosmo Boy what the kosher dogs were, when the lady infront of us looked at Cosmo Boy and said “Well you can still have one……” I guess she thought he was Muslim or of Jewish decent…. A kosher dog, some beers and a Pujols Grand Slam later, the game rocked! The sixth inning brought out McGwire to pull down the number…… Welcome to the Jungle pipes over the sound system, Big Mac finally emerges, wife and kid in tow, no self respecing person could boo a man with his young son…. For me, I couldn’t boo….. I had grown up a Cardinal fan, but lost interest after 1994, I would follow them, but not like I do know…….. Summer of ‘98 rekindled my fire for baseball and I will always look fondly on that time and the home run race…. Post game we head back to Syberg’s. Cosmo Boy was jonsing to go east, said he could get us into the Penthouse VIP Room. A quick stop to Maplewood to an intoxicated Frankiefrau to get the passes, we were off to the races or lap dances, depending on how you look at it…….. Me, Cosmo Boy and Stiffy arrive at Penthouse, get into the VIP room. Sebastian shows up shortly there after…… We were there for about an hour and a half, Stiffy heads home, we go next door. On the way in, Cosmo Boy says “Look at the board, find your girl and do your business.” I thought he was kidding, but no, he really looks at the board in the DJ booth to see who’s working…… Disturbing……….. Anyway, those go to make a lap (not get one), I sit down in a chair near a stage, not at a stage. A dancer walks over, asks if I want a table dance and the skit from Chris Rock pops into my head, I say sure. (Got to help out the local economy…..) She does her dance, asks if I want a private for a reduced price, I say sure, it’s like finding a dvd set on sale, you can’t pass it up………. On the way back to the private area she said I looked really familiar, but she couldn’t place where she knew me from. I knew exactly who she was, but wanted to see if she remembered me……. the convo went:

Her: Have I danced for you before?
Me: No
Her: You look REALLY familiar, how do I know you?
Me: What’s your name?
Her: Meme (Pronounced Me Me)
Me: I’m Chris (waiting to see if that jogged her memory)
Me: (finally breaking down) You know how you know me, my good friend dated your friend…..
Her: OMG, that’s right! You were out with us the night we had the limo and went bar hopping…..
Me: Yup
Her: Yeah, I probably different, I paid for these boobs and I’m proud to say that!
Me: Good for you!
*****In private area now********
Her: I can’t wait, I’m starting school soon
Me: For what?
*****She goes on to explain she’s going to get her associates degree so she can quit stripping***
Her: My 8 yr old loves me, she wants to be just like me, which is cool, except I don’t want her to be a stripper……….
Me: (thinking) Ackward……..

***Song Ends***

We head out and grab a burger for the road, home by 3am, smelling of cotton candy

So let me set this up, having a convo with one of my friends about a girl we both know. This girl is quite attractive I think, his opinion was different.

Here’s the gist of the convo:

Name Removed to Protect Manhood: She’s cute, not hot, she wears to much makeup
Me: WTF?
Name Removed to Protect Manhood: Seriously, the other night, she was wearing to much makeup, tonight she wasn’t wearing much and she looks a lot sexier
Me: Are you a woman? What guy says that??
Name Removed to Protect Manhood: I’m just saying……….
Me: You watch the Home and Garden Network don’t you? So next you are going to say Boy George wore to much makeup and that’s why Culture Club tanked??
Name Removed to Protect Manhood: This is going to end up in your blog isn’t it?